Resolving Resolutions

I know...I said I would write more last year.  Same resolution this year.  To get things started, my 2013 Christmas newsletter.  Figure this will give me some time to put together my next blog, next week!  I resolve to promise!

Cunningham Christmas Chronicle 2013!

“I’m all a-twitter about the holidays,” I exclaimed as I poured the last drop out of the bottle of Scotch I got for Christmas last year (okay, I bought it Tuesday, but it’s been almost four days!).

“Dad,” sighed my youngest son, in that excruciating drone he gets when he’s exasperated with his ‘old time’ parents, “You can’t twitter.  You don’t have a cell phone.  I keep telling you to get one.  It would be so much better.  You can hook up with anyone wherever you are, like when you were standing outside of your car the other day when the door lock was frozen and you couldn’t get in.  Don’t you see?  Maybe you should get one for Christmas!”

I informed him, “I said ‘a-twitter,’ not Twitter,” while peering over my glasses and my glass! “And I can see.”  He evidently mistook the dirty glass lenses as a sign of aging or perhaps spied a glazed stare (possible alcohol influence here).  “And, besides,” I continued, “Don’t going saying that I’m hooking up with anyone in front of your mother.  You’ll put ideas into her head and I don’t think she’s bought my Christmas present, yet.”

I keep tipping the Scotch bottle upside down, hoping to get the vapors to condense and a bit more drips into my glass.   ‘You know how your mother feels about cell phones.  We’re holding out to prove a point.  When all of those satellites come crashing down like they said they would on the Science Channel, they’ll be useless.”

He shakes his head, with the look that says, ‘I can’t believe I have parents!’  He uses his low, instructive voice, “A twitter is not a thing.  It’s something you do.  It’s a way to talk to people without talking to them.”  He continued, “And, if I did say anything to Mom, she wouldn’t remember it anyway (another story here).”

“Oh,” I replied, “Like when I ask you to bring in wood and you walk away, like talking without the words meaning anything?”

His whole body goes up and down in one big sigh.  He starts to walk away, as I head for the top cupboard in search of that brandy I’m using to soak the annual holiday fruit cake, and he adds, “And those satellites aren’t coming down for another hundred years and you’ll be dead by then.”

I add, “Two things!  By not eating any of my 92 dozen Christmas cookies I made last year, I got my cholesterol down to 12.  I might be around for another two hundred years, so good luck with that thought if you’re sticking around here waiting for the house, and I have a phone with wires that go into the wall and when the power goes out I can still call them, if I wanted to link up with anybody.”

The middle son enters the kitchen at that point.  He quips, “It’s LinkedIn.”  I look at him, “What’s linked in?”  The youngest moans, “Oh no, here we go again.  I’m going to go bring some wood in.”  He leaves the room.

“What,” asks the middle son, “You’re on LinkedIn.”   I reply, “I know. I just needed him to go get some wood.” 

I’m up to my neck peering into the cupboard, searching for my holiday beverage backups, adding, “It’s all about communication processes.  The words aren’t important, it’s like playing billiards. Bounce it off one, the other reacts!”  Middle son shrugs his shoulders and walks away. Got rid of him, too! 

Now I have the downstairs to myself!  I can make a list of all of the things that I, once again, don’t have ready for the holidays.  I could sure use some help, I think, but I just insured that both would stay out of sight for about four hours. 

The holidays are a time of joy. You can be ‘a-twitter’ about them, which I happened to be saying out loud, as my wife returned from another day at the hospital.  (I have to talk to myself sometimes so I have someone sane to talk to…it has nothing to do with imbibing). 

“What did you call me,” she asks?  “What,” ask I?  “You said I was a twit,” she exclaimed.  “Did not,” say I, “I said ‘a-twitter, you know, like all excited and giddy.”

“A biddy,” she’s getting worked up now, “Who are you calling a biddy?”  Evidently, hearing tests aren’t covered under the new Affordable Health Care Act.

I change lanes quickly, “How about a drink?”  She responds, “Not now, maybe later.”  “No,” I add, “I wasn’t asking you if you wanted one, I want to know if you know if there’s anything in the house for me to have a drink.”  She just walks away.  

Alone, again.  Another mission accomplished.  And I didn’t have to use a cell phone.You see, the holidays are about communicating.  Some of us still write to people, some call, some send emails, others text and twitter and tweet and twerk (not sure about that last one).  

What are we communicating?  I really don’t know. Seems it should be good will, and good wishes and generating warm and friendly feelings and hopefully, something that lasts longer than a quick tweet.  A personal greeting might be nice, you know a voice, a person.

Just then the youngest comes racing back upstairs, noting that a truck veered off the road in town and knocked out all of he power and took down the phone lines.  Our holiday lights went out in a flash, the computer dived into oblivion, and now my land line is dead.

“How did you hear about that,” I asked?  “I got a tweet,” he replied.  “Gimme that thing,” I said as I grabbed his cell phone from his hands, “I need to call the liquor store to see if they lost power.”  Some things at holiday time are just that important.

And, until those satellites come down, maybe I do need something else for Christmas???

Making A List, Checking It At Least Twice!

I forgot to mention, in my last post, that I'm also managing the Advent calendar by myself this year.  Usually, we take turns adding ornaments, but it's just too much hassle each day trying to get everyone to appreciate the holiday spirit and be part of the festivities for 25 days straight.  Works better when I can offer holiday "spirits," to get chores done, and that just doesn't seem right at 8:00 a.m.

We have an advent calendar that my mother made for the boys when they were little.  It's sort of like the one pictured here, but a little worn and some of the ornaments have broken a bit.  And, each ornament has a safety pin that holds it to the tree.  In an attempt to make it look "clean," I pin from the back.  A nicer look, but as of day 20, today, I have pricked my finger at least 20 times trying to get the darned things attached to the calendar.  "Sigh," it's tradition. I would have taken a picture of ours, but the camera batteries died after it was left on all night.  I went to use the battery charger.  That had burnt out, due to whatever short has taken place in the outside lights.

Speaking of the outside lights, I did manage to take the whole light unit apart only to find that it's just fine...must be something with one of the strings.  I was able to put a red light bulb in the unit, so at least we have some light at the entrance and left the strings unplugged, until I can get time to check them out.  I had forgotten the reference of a red light at the entrance to some.  I find that a number of cars slow down as they go by the house; several police vehicles included, who seem to peer diligently as they pass.

Anyway, here's what the house looks like now, on the left (sort of).  Festive, right?  Hopefully, we'll have some bright, multi-colored, lights going again soon.

The Christmas cards, you ask!

Yes, we did a marathon writing and signing, trying to personalize each card, and then addressed, stuffed with our annual newsletter, licked shut, stamped, and sticking a seasonal seal on the back.  Several cards had to be reopened, as by the time we got around to doing some of the "extra" work with each card, we forgot who to address them to.

But here they are, ready to be mailed.  The wife loves mail!

Hmmmm...guess I forgot that step...oh well, there's always tomorrow.  Does anyone know if the Post Office is guaranteeing next day delivery for regular mail?

Tomorrow is an important day.  First day of winter, Mayan collapse day, shortest day of the year, and the day I take cookies to work.  That marathon "wrapping of the cookies" took place last night.  Last Sunday, I made the cookie dough.  Monday, I rolled it all out and using my Christmas cookie cutters, I cut and baked 97 dozen cookies.  Yep, 1164 cookies that made it to the oven...probably lost another dozen in process, but it is a family Christmas record.  Took a breather for a couple of days to go to work (to pay for all of this and more) and then last night started the decorating process.

All of the cookies get laid out on tables, I mix the icing, bag it, squeeze it, try to make some sort of lines on each that looks like something.  Using red and green frosting helps...solves about 90% of the holiday guessing.  Is that a Christmas cookie?  It's red and green...must be.  I work off the abstract method of icing; sort of follow the lines, squiggle here and there...makes for a quick event...got them all done inside of four hours.


Here are some pictures of that event.

Tonight, I wrapped cookies by the dozen in baggies and tied with string to take to work as gifts.  I will sit in front of each recipient and make sure they eat them.

After all of the hard work I put into them, I want to be sure they enjoy them, as I stare at them intently and keep asking them if they like them!

It's really not a holiday without some pressure, you know.

Four days before the eve and I'm trying to think what else needs to be done.  If I get those cards out and fix those lights...oh yeah, the tree!  We got it up off the street and into the house and it's standing up!!!  I have an hour or so before bedtime tonight, maybe I can get some lights on it (if I can find them and they still work!).

We are actually planning on decorating it by week's end.  We have to plan to do it, or come Tuesday why bother?  I could just drag it out on the deck, at that point, and hang bird seed bells from it and let nature take it's course...there's a thought.

Still, something missing.

Shopping!!!  I guess there are folks here who are expecting gifts.  Bummer.

You see, that's one thing that's wrong with Christmas.  People expect me to buy them gifts.  Isn't it better to give than receive?  I am ready, willing and able to receive to make the holiday more meaningful for others who want to give and who will benefit from that process.

Okay, guess the stores will be open 24/7, for the next few days, and I do have one day off between now and the holiday.  I'm sure I can find that one perfect gift for each person inside of eight hours.  Haven't failed yet (or at least I haven't been told that I have) over all the years.

Guess I should go attend to something on what is now a long list of need to do!  Might have two of those checked off???

 I'll let you know how things work out in a few days.

Merry Christmas!

How Many Days 'till Christmas?

We always thought, once the boys grew up, that we'd nail this holiday thing and have Christmas wrapped and ready by Thanksgiving and spend the month of December checking out holiday offerings at wineries and touring historic homes, all decked out for the season!

As of yesterday, here's our tree!

As you can see, we cut it down ourselves.  As you can also see, it fell of the car on the way home from the tree farm.  Somehow, the seventeen feet of rope I used, and the knots I learned in Boy Scouts, didn't make one bit of difference regarding the delivery.

You'll also notice that we don't have any snow.  The hopes of a white Christmas are in the hands of the weatherman.  At least it wasn't muddy curb-side, so I could just drag the holiday icon up the drive to the house.  Maybe tomorrow I'll get to that.

Homemade Christmas cookies are a tradition at our house and, as I usually make scores of them, I did think to buy the ingredients.  I put together about two dozen eggs, five pounds of butter, a couple of bottles of vanilla, and a nice bottle of Shiraz to get the project going...the Shiraz is to fortify me.

Of course, with work and chores around the house, including the now-flickering lights I strung on the front of the house which means a trip to the hardware store to replace the fixture so we can enjoy the aforementioned lights, I didn't get to far with the cookies.

Here's a picture of where they are now:

Last year, I made 72 dozen cookies and my son helped decorate them.

As you can see, I've only mixed a bit of what I intended to and just now am remembering that I didn't buy anything for decorations.

I'll get around to it soon, but first we have to get those Christmas cards going, as many have to be mailed to get to out of state addresses and with today being the busiest day of the United States Postal Service, if I don't hurry, I may get them there just as the postal clerks decide that it's time for their coffee break.

We did buy the cards and the stamps.  And, we have all sorts of address labels that we collect from about thirty different charities during the year.  Some have my name, some my wife's.  Once, a relative got a card from us with the wife label. Her first thought was that we divorced, as only her name appeared on the return address section.  My wife says it will take a lot more than the price of a postage stamp for me to get single again!

I'm guessing you want to see how far along I am with the cards...here they are:

As I look at them, I'm guessing I should try to find the envelopes..I know that they came with them. Of course, I also need our address book...we work very hard to keep that in shape so that we have every one's address right at our fingertips.  It's in this pile somewhere....

Right after I get all of that done, I'll start some shopping and then get down to the task of wrapping everything.  Note to self: hope wrapping paper isn't with the address book.

Maybe when the kids were small we had to get things done in a more timely fashion, as there were school concerts, and holiday parties for the Scouts, and church and family visits, and kids getting sick just before you head out the door.  These days we don't have all of that stuff and we probably think we got all that time back and can wait until closer to the holiday to start.  Strange thing...doesn't work.

Well, one more week to go and I'm sure we'll pull off a Christmas miracle...by actually having Christmas ready for Christmas.  I'll keep you posted over the next six days on how this goes...just checked, I did manage to remember to lay in some refreshments for the holiday and to provide me support as I gear up for the fest....


Now, where did I put that corkscrew???

Back By Popular Demand: Christmas and Blogging!

Seems people are still checking out my blog, over 400 hits since my last post.  Got busy this summer, and then Fall hit, big time (as many of you know and felt), and now that the holidays are over and, well, since my wife keeps saying "you should be blogging," here we go again.

I'll start my new thrust of dedication to my blog, while I assemble new thoughts to share with you, by posting my latest holiday newsletter, our annual Cunningham Christmas Chronicle...as those of you who celebrate by decorating and gifting and sending cards, traditional efforts can be fun...really! 

Read on...

We decided to take the holiday pressure off ourselves this year and commit to doing everything at the last minute.  In fact, if there's anything we can do after Christmas, for Christmas, we are there. 

I had that plan working just fine, until Theresa's sister, Mary, called to see about coming up, with her friend Dorothy, to each get their Christmas trees.  We make an annual pilgrimage to a local purveyor of prickly poking, needle dropping flora.  They wanted to come up a week earlier than we would normally go...it did fit with our weekend schedule, but would set us up for getting something done ahead of time...we sighed and agreed.  Of course, that meant we were going to have to fill that next weekend with something non-holiday related, but were able to put that thought off to another last minute decision and believed were happily behind again!  We knew it would be a full day. 

Although Mary and Dorothy historically take about 6 minutes each to find a tree (once Mary pointed to one as we were driving in, “That one!”  We could have slugged her), I knew we could count on Theresa to soak up the rest of the day, checking out each and every tree on the 85 acre farm.  In the past, as you know, we've closed tree farms waiting for Theresa to pick out that perfect trimmer.  And I don't mean by sunset.  One year the guy actually had to ask us to leave as his wife was calling him to come home as they were leaving for Midnight Mass.  Upon arrival this year, I set off with Mary and Dorothy to help them cut down and drag back two trees, while I watched Theresa disappear into the forest on her quest for the perfect tree. 

True to history, Mary and Dorothy were espying two lovely firs within minutes of arrival and as I was looking at their possible selection with them (you know, too tall, too thin, crooked trunk, no needles, all brown needles, is that a dead bird in there?), I found Theresa standing next to me.  I told her I'd be with her in a minute to help her look (I get to spend hours answering the, “Does this tree make me look too big?” questions), as soon as the ladies told me which to cut down.  She said, “No, no need to look...this one!,” as she pointed to a tree six feet away. 

What you should be envisioning now is something akin to a biblical scene of massive white clouds in the sky parting, huge bright shafts of light screaming down towards earth and angels flying back and forth singing strains of “Hallelujah!”  And, yes, trumpets, harps, any other heavenly musical instruments you can think of...maybe even an accordion...it was that special.  Years of tree hunting with Theresa flashed before my eyes.  I was shaken (not stirred, that's another story).  “Wha?,” was about the only thing I could come up with.  We were done within twenty minutes.  Mary and Dorothy were so surprised, as they had brought books, kindles, knitting, and wine for their usual wait.  They just pointed to the closest trees to them and, as though surrendering to the moment, each said, “That one.” 

As we were dragging the trees to our cars, I could hear the farm owner in the background, talking to his staff, “Something's off...usually this time of year there's a small crowd, some poking and pulling on every tree, others just sitting around waiting for them...Christmas just doesn't feel like Christmas anymore.”  I felt bad for him, but more-so for us, as now we had nothing to do with the rest of the day.  Mary came to the rescue, “Let's go to lunch.”  “Ooo,” I cooed, “and let's find someplace that has notoriously slow service...that will be fun!'  Turns out the restaurant staff was so pleasant and so attentive that we soon found ourselves back in our cars heading home.  

Back home, as I looked at the tree standing in a pail of water on the deck, I noted I now had the afternoon free of chores.  I caved into putting the tree into the stand and putting it the living room.  Kevin helped hoist it in and it went into place on the first attempt.  I cut the binding cord and it fell out beautifully.  As the branches swayed into place, filling out the space, I turned to Theresa and said, “Great, now what am I going to do?  It doesn't need to be trimmed, moved, reset or balanced.  No ropes or weights to keep it standing.  I guess I'm forced to put the lights on it!”  I couldn't believe we were getting this far ahead.  Then, to add insult to injury, all of the light strings I had packed away last year worked...and they weren't tangled.  I was miserable with success.  But, I knew we still had to decorate the thing, so we decided to put that off for another day.  

That other day turned out to be the next day.  As I came into the house from work, there was Theresa gleefully placing ornaments on the tree.  “What are you doing?”  She apologized, but said that her doctor's appointment was canceled and she had the time.  “Had the time?  We were supposed to be filling time so that we'd be feeling the Christmas pressure!”  I was seething...we were getting ahead of schedule, yet again.  My hands were clenched with stored up energy...I rushed to the kitchen, needing to knead something.  I pulled out butter and flour and all sort of other edibles and pushed out 62 dozen cut Christmas cookies. 

As I was pulling the last batch out of the oven, Matt bounded in and said, “Need help decorating those cookies?”  Before I could sit him down and talk to him about the merits of being patient and planning, and how not rushing into situations is a good thing, he had many dozens spread on the table with icing bag in hand and within hours finished them all off, with colored frostings, sugars and sprinkles.  Our hopes were dashed for a last minute baking frenzy.  I settled into the nearest sofa, wine in hand, racking my brain for something that I could drag out to fill up the advancing gap of free time before the holidays.  “I know,” I shouted, “Christmas cards...we haven't done Christmas cards.”  Theresa twisted up her face, glancing at me, “I addressed and signed them all yesterday...sorry, but I was on call and waiting. I needed something to do.”  I looked at her, “Don't tell me you've got your Christmas shopping done!”  “Okay,” she said, “I won't tell you that.  Maybe you should have another glass of wine.”  

I was defeated.  Here we are, a week before Christmas, and ready for the holiday!  

Faced with time to go out to holiday happenings in the area, time for gatherings with family and friends, time for quiet moments and reflection on life and the holidays, a relaxed Christmas Eve and Day with plenty of time for gifts and goodies, I could only think...time for relaxation, reflection and spending time with others?  

What have these holidays come to?

Sidewalk Resolutions, The Sequel

I can't believe I forgot a New Year's resolution topic!

It took a note from my friend Wendy, all the way over on the West coast, to remind me that I forgot to include intentions regarding my artwork.  Must have been the Dewars!

So...

Resolution #11  Paint and draw more.

Resolution #12  Take art classes at Woodstock School of Art.  Here's there link if you want to join me or look at what they offer:

http://woodstockschoolofart.org/

Resolution #13  Get together with former art mates, for some plein air painting somewhere in New England.

Resolution #14  Sell all new art works for a fortune and retire to a cottage on the beaches of Majorca!  (Or, should I say,  a cottage on Majorca that has a sidewalk that leads to a beach!).

No sooner than I read the note from the left coast (it's okay, I'm left handed), guess what's on TV?  A whole afternoon devoted to art.  The first four half hour programs were about nudes through history, starting with the Egyptians.

I want to tell you right here and now that I didn't watch the shows for the pictures!  I didn't look at any of them.  I was interested in the content and discussions about the subject, as related to how the pictorial and sculptural art, and how people's reaction to it, have changed over the years.

As I consider this a "family" blog that anyone can read, I won't post any photos of nudes that I've drawn.  I did take a figure drawing class a few years ago, at the Woodstock School of Art, and produced several nice pieces.  Once again, I didn't look while I was drawing.  I just sketched away while averting my eyes from the subjects.  Somehow, it worked.

I framed two drawings, one of a male and another of a female.  They are quite "safe" to look at, most of the important parts were hidden from view by their poses, and I thought my family would enjoy seeing my productions.

I hung the drawing of the male across from the front door.  The drawing of the female I hung on the wall opposite.  The male would be seen right away as you entered the house.  As my youngest son came into the room and spied the male figure drawing he said, "That's not right!"  He spun around quickly, to avoid looking at it any further, and saw the female.  "Ooo, that's nice," was his next comment. 

The narrator of the shows on television this afternoon talked about people's reactions to nudes in art.  Back in the days noted as BC, nudes in art were representing daily life.  People saw naked people working, fighting, and bathing in many places.  These days, we see nude art in a different light.  Some people think that nude art is produced to express the erotic.

Meanwhile, we are still carrying around some of our Victorian ancestor's taboo ideas about nudity...the only good nude is one that is dressed!

As a result, nude art can be very perplexing.  The same son who reacted to my recent drawings, at age four asked a fellow artist of mine who specialized in nudes, "Are you ever going to paint anyone with their clothes on?"

He knew you had to get dressed!  It didn't make sense to him then.  He gets it now!

Anyway, so you don't think I haven't done anything with my artwork recently, I include here a photo of my sculptural holiday tribute to acorns, using real acorns.  I think it expresses the potential each nut holds for the holiday and every day thereafter.

I call it, "Holiday Acorn Tree." It can be used all year long.

My wife calls it, "Strangely bothersome.  Not sure why, but I get the feeling that it's just not right!"

Oh well, Happy New Year...I hope all of your projects for the coming year have productively fertile results!

No Sidewalks, Still Celebrating

We're ending the year with a push..trying to get as much family and friends together as we can...Christmas one more time with family who couldn't make it down earlier; they're driving in from all over the state.

Then a nice dinner tonight with friends who live nearby...no,  not close enough for us to walk to their houses, but we'll manage anyway!  We'll drive...I think there's a sidewalk outside the restaurant.

Finished the rest of the Christmas wrapping this a.m., I think we're done!  Now, just getting the house ready for company...cleaning a bit...Aunt Bea used to say, as she walked by the dust on her furniture and the dishes in the sink, "Are they coming to see me or see the house?  If they're coming to see me, I'm here.  If they're coming to see the house they needn't bother!"

Our family and friends come to see us!  Besides, dust is important, it's a fine protective covering for our furniture!

Not much more today.  I'm sure I'll have a bit to post after today's festivities. 

In the meantime, just Happy New Year.

Got the count down on the side here, in case you lose track of the day!

Hope 2010 was kind to you; hope 2011 is better!

Holiday Review

Some folks wrote and told me that they missed getting my Christmas newsletter this year; I sent them out to those who wrote, but am guessing that the mid-west snowstorms slowed down the planes that would carry my greetings to out of state areas so, before the year ends, I include the highlights here!  Hope everyone had a great holiday....here it is:

We're waiting for our bailout!  Should the government debt program float some funds our way, I can assure you they'd have it back faster than you can say, “What do you want for Christmas?”  All monies would be spent back into circulation in no time flat.  Nothing would change, we’d still be broke!!!  But, what a Christmas it would be!

My wife only wants all expense paid trips to Hawaii, Italy and Ireland, and would be happy to spend about three months getting it all in.  I told her that a trip like that would be very expensive and most likely we couldn't afford for both of us to go.  She said, without a blink of her eye, “Okay.  I can send you postcards!”   She came up with that too fast!

She'd also like a home in the country.  You see, she doesn't think that we live far enough from civilization.  For those of you who know where we live, I'll wait a minute until you stop laughing.  For those of you who don’t, all you have to know is that I need a GPS to find my way back from the store.  Any time I mention my desire to live near a sidewalk, to get to places, like walking to the store for a quart of milk, instead of driving an hour for it, she takes me on “know your county” drives, that lead further into the woods each time.  I'm waiting for the day when, in the midst of uncharted territory, she makes up an excuse for me to get out of the car and drives off leaving me there until I come to “her senses.”  She loves the wildlife that frequents our front and back yards...I've pointed out similar things in the city, like the guy in New York City who was riding his roller board down the escalator at Barnes and Noble, “Look at that turkey!”  See, nature!  Or, that cute woman I spied in the Metropolitan Museum, “That's some fox, huh?”  (Should have kept that bit of nature to myself).  In the city, we've seen people who are bears and loons.  Near the Playboy Club (no, we didn't go in), we saw bunnies.  South Street Seaport…someone with a rod and reel...a fisher!  Lots of nature.  She also expounds that she wants “tranquility.”  I told her that she could buy it in any fragrance store in the city and that it comes in a yellow bottle, her favorite color.  No comment.

As long as we’re in a spending mood, the boys each want a brand new car, clothes and musical instruments (the youngest-guitar, the eldest-guitar, the middle child,-guitar, keyboard, drums, whistles, bells, pieces of iron that you can bang together to make noise...yikes).  They would also take a private apartment each and a weekly cash allowance to support their efforts on their own and, on some days I think, “new parents.”  We know it's hard on them having to eat our food, use our laundry equipment, and turn up our heat.  While we're still not empty nesters, I do know some day when they are all moved out and on their own they will look back at these days and fondly state, “What were we thinking...we should have stayed!” 

I should also take a moment to review some of the highlights of the past year, that would be of great interest to you.  We had the septic tank pumped.  It's a good thing, as we've found out in not such a good way in the past, so I try to keep ahead of it.  My wife reached her first anniversary in the dialysis unit and continues to provide great health care…there.  At home, should I cut off a finger or fall on the floor writhing in pain, she‘ll barely throw a glance and say, “You might want to have that looked at!”  I took a break from work to become a student.  Nothing like reliving your youth and basking in the glow of many long-forgotten educational processes (skipping classes, dropping courses before the four week cutoff so you can get 50% back, paying someone else to write your paper, and attending the freshman beer bash...and, with everyone in my class older than 50, we can actually buy kegs with our own IDs).

I still get up every morning and wave to the school bus as it goes by.  I truly love not making those lunches.  And we took a few trips this year.  We were in Maine, New Hampshire (over a mile higher than sea level at Mt. Washington), Massachusetts (below sea level if you count my falling out of the boat and going underwater), Vermont, and Virginia.  Spent a full week at the lake in Richfield Springs, and we've been through New Jersey on several trips to New York City.  Going through a state counts, right...but, then, the fact that it's New Jersey, well....

Last year for Christmas, we got clothes and goodies, games, fragrant things of all sorts, and I actually got a crate full of coal... not because I was bad (I think), but it's useful.  My wife got it for me as, she explained, it burns cleaner and longer than oil and it helps the stove fire burn hotter.  I like to burn things.  That bothers her, but she supports that habit when it’s contained to the woodstove; it was a nice gift; kept us warm!

Then my wife asked me what I wanted for Christmas this year and I told her, lightly, “Peace on Earth, Size Large, Color Blue.”  She immediately wrote it down on the “What I Want For Christmas” list that appears on the refrigerator each year around Thanksgiving, that we’re supposed to fill out so we buy gifts that people actually want.  I thought the idea would touch her soul.  I was a little bothered by the fact that I saw her pull out her “other” list and cross off Scotch, Vodka, Xbox Kinect, and Chocolate Covered Cherries!  Not sure if she all-of-a-sudden remembered that she had bought those things for me or if my idea sparked another thought.  You see, these days she 'forgets' things...which works for me as I'm wrapping up all of last year's gifts that I gave her to put under the tree for her again this year...the ultimate re-gifting!  Then, when I looked again, I realized she wrote, “Piece of Earth!”

Knowing how her mind works (or doesn't), I started to put it together...she probably forgot the coal gift last year, but an ember of that memory relit in her brain and the bill we had recently received, for “Large, Blue Anthracite,” is now for me the ghost of Christmas future. 

Did she forget what she bought me last year, or is she thinking that she won't have to think about a gift for me as she knows I think she forgets, but she didn't, and now she can get away without thinking about a gift for me by getting me the gift for which she can state, “I forgot I got you that,” when she didn't forget...do you think? 

Okay, I won’t think about that for very long.  Coal or scotch, I hope your holiday is warm, too!

Christmas Redux

It's hard enough shopping for Christmas, but as soon as the holiday is over we are bombarded with lists of things we should have waited to buy.

Evidently, there are items that are traditionally cheaper after that special day!

Then, there's a sea of sales flyers and discount promotions that come our way!

Here's one list that showed up today...nine things that are touted as a better deal after the 25th:

http://www.walletpop.com/2010/12/14/nine-things-to-buy-after-christmas/

I'm not sure how to handle this information.  We all like to save money, but the idea of giving is tied to the day of the holiday, I think.  I was brought up believing that you delivered gifts before the holiday or on the holiday, so the recipient would have them for their holiday.

But with all of this "deals" information, why would we want to buy anything before Christmas when we know that, each year, the better deals come after the celebration?

In this new recessive economy, should I have given "certificates" to my gift recipients stating that I'd be buying them something after Christmas or should I have stalled seeing them until I bought it?

These questions add another dimension to the holiday...one of shopping before and after the holiday, for the holiday!  I feel you have to buy Christmas presents in time for Christmas.  However, now that I can save some money, I may have to think about next year and put some people off.  I could schedule several "after-holiday" holiday get-togethers.

It's tough enough to get to, or plan and host, before-holiday parties and meals, then there's Christmas Eve, and then Christmas Day.  Now, post-Christmas gatherings for scheduled cost-reduced gift giving?

And what's the chance of getting those several persons you've delayed giving give gifts to together on the same day?  Some people have time off between Christmas and New Years, others don't.  Some have plans, some have to travel, and some are just plain hard to schedule.

Add the weather to all of that and we could be having Christmas every day for a month!  The extra added burden is to try to get this all done before New Years.  Did I mention trying to figure out what to do on New Years while still shopping and wrapping for Christmas, after Christmas?

This is getting too complicated!

Friends of our family, many years ago, held their large family and friends holiday on the weekend after the Feast of the Epiphany.

They celebrated what we knew as "Russian Christmas," and it was their annual holiday celebration for family and friends...a one-time, all-at-once, tradition.

Now, I think I know why this would be a good thing for me!

This celebration comes twelve days after Christmas, next on January 6, 2011.

By waiting until after the first of the year, I would have time to take in the after-Christmas sales and the beginning of the January white sales!  I could discount my holiday purchases by 70%!!!  If I could hold off decorating, I could probably even get a break on that $45.00 tree!

And, by then, no one I know has anywhere they have to be.  It's January, it's cold and dull and people are almost ready for another party!

The greatest thing?  If my guests don't come to this party, they have to wait until the next Christmas before thinking about the present thing again.  No pressure to shop for the holiday after that!  It's January...what do you expect?  Christmas presents on Valentine's Day...no way!  It's over!

I'd have another month to get to Christmas cards, I could actually relax at any and all December parties, and when asked that perennial question my answer would be, "Oh no, I don't start any shopping for Christmas until after Christmas...could I have another Hot Rum and Brandy, a double please?"

That would be swell.  Imagine, a stress reduced, one-shot holiday.

Nice thought, but I shouldn't be rambling...we're having Christmas again this week and I have some shopping, wrapping and baking to get to!

Christmas is Coming!

Thought I'd let you know that there are only 364 days until Christmas!  We could keep this recession in check, if we write more checks!

And, I'm sure there are some who didn't get what they wanted for Christmas.  Now is the time to start letting people know.  They could probably get a real good buy on it, in the coming days, and can store it away until next year.

However, if they're anything like me, they'll forget they bought it or put it somewhere where they'll "remember where it is," and then forget that, too!

Just yesterday, I was lugging stuff out of the closet to put under the tree.   I came across a shirt I bought for one of the boys last year and had forgotten that I'd hidden it there.  One on hand, it's not good that I put things away that show up a year later; on the other hand, one of the boys scored another gift!

I have put things away several times to deliver as future gifts, in a place "where I know I will find them" and then can't.  I'm thinking I could put the words "forget" and "gift" together and come up with a new word for this repetitive activity of mine, and what I believe many others do, "Forgifted."  As in, I'm buying this and putting it away "forgifted."  When you run the words together, it means that you will put it away to give to someone as a gift, forget about it, and then it will show up at the wrong future date for the same reason, a gift to give later than intended!  And, pressure's off...no late deliveries, just "forgifted."

Maybe that's what Santa did with my sidewalk!  He didn't bring me one this year, but I did get some Scotch to hold me over until I find it.

Got a few other things I needed and wanted, so it's all good.

I'll put the sidewalk back on my list for next year.  Better yet, with the New Year coming up, maybe I need to put an action word with it, make it a resolution, and "find a sidewalk!"

There's a thought!

But then, if I work on it and Santa all ready has it, but  he "forgifted" it, then I may end with two sidewalks at some point!  I can't think about that right now.

Christmas is coming and I have to start getting ready!

In the meantime, until next Christmas and the possibility of a bailout for each and every one of from this economy, my song from our Christmas newsletter this year:

We Need A Little Bailout Now!*
*Sung to the tune of We Need a Little Christmas Now

Spend all the money, put up the tree before my stocks fall again.
Fill up the gas tank.  We may be rushing things but
Gonna get our bailout dough.
For we can have a little Christmas, each and every minute,
Brand new thermal windows, expensive restaurant dinners.
Yes, we’ll have a little Christmas, each and every minute.
The Feds say cash is coming, don’t worry,
But Santa, dear, we‘re in a hurry.

So, we’ll reline the chimney, pick up the brightest string
Of pearls we’ve every seen.
Spread out the windfall, it’s time we bought some land
On the other side of the state.
For we’ve grown a little smarter, seen our credit smolder,
Ready now to barter, and find that as we’re older.
And  have a bailout angel, we’ll heft cash on our shoulder
And have a little Christmas now,

And we’ll take our bailout money, and buy a little laughter,
And we’ll be shouting and singing, up and through the rafter,
And we’ll get a little crazy
Happy for a soon to come
No-payback-bailout Christmas now!

Mulling Sidewalks

From our house to yours, Merry Christmas!

Don't forget to check out the Norad link on the right side of this blog to track Santa's progress.  I'm writing this about 3:45 p.m., Eastern Standard Time.  That means Santa has all ready started his trip on the other side of the world!!!

Hopefully, you've all been good enough for a quick stopover.  If not, perhaps those of you who live near sidewalks could make your own cheer by going door to door caroling...'tis better to give than receive, you know.

I hear that strain, "I'm dreaming of a white sidewalk...."

To go along with caroling, as you'll want to stay warm while you're hitting the pavement, be sure to take a look at this recipe from Daily Candy for spiced wine and pack some for the trip!  Oh, be sure to drink moderately and responsibly!  Or, just keep it warm at home and have it when you return:

Cup of Cheer

Mulled wine is a must for going door to door:
Pour a bottle of Chianti into a medium saucepan, add two cinnamon sticks, two star anise, one tablespoon of cloves, three tablespoons of brown sugar, and the peel of one orange (or cut to the chase with mulled wine syrup); simmer for twenty minutes.


We have a bottle of spiced wine to enjoy this evening (it does come pre-packaged these days) and we'll be toasting you all...if we get toasted ourselves, then I'll have more to write about for the holidays!

Oh, and I did ask Santa for a sidewalk this year...I know he doesn't use them himself, but it's big on my list.  I'm not sure how he'll get in down the chimney, and I did forget to specify color and size, but due to the recession there's lots of room for it under the tree, no matter what he brings.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Christmas...and Then Some!

I was looking around the internet looking for Christmas Trivia that I promised you, when I came across a web site entitled Christmas Facts. More trivia there than you would need in one sitting. So, I picked some out...if you want to see it all, go to this link: http://www.corsinet.com/braincandy/xmastrivia.html It's a lot of reading, but it's a big holiday, it's been around for a few years, and you probably need something to do after all of the gifts are wrapped.   So, if you're up for the full read, grab an Egg Nog, sit back, and enjoy.  In the meantime, here are some highlights: "White Christmas" (1954), starring Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye, was the first movie to be made in Vista Vision, a deep-focus process. "Wassail" comes from the Old Norse "ves heill"--to be of good health. This evolved into the tradition of visiting neighbors on Christmas Eve and drinking to their health. A Christmas club, a savings account in which a person deposits a fixed amount of money regularly to be used at Christmas for shopping, came about around 1905. According to the National Christmas Tree Association, Americans buy 37.1 million real Christmas trees each year; 25 percent of them are from the nation's 5,000 choose-and-cut farms. After "A Christmas Carol," Charles Dickens wrote several other Christmas stories, one each year, but none was as successful as the original. Although many believe the Friday after Thanksgiving is the busiest shopping day of the year, it is not. It is the fifth to tenth busiest day. The Friday and Saturday before Christmas are the two busiest shopping days of the year. An artificial spider and web are often included in the decorations on Ukrainian Christmas trees. A spider web found on Christmas morning is believed to bring good luck. An average household in America will mail out 28 Christmas cards each year and see 28 eight cards return in their place. Animal Crackers are not really crackers, but cookies that were imported to the United States from England in the late 1800s. Barnum's circus-like boxes were designed with a string handle so that they could be hung on a Christmas tree. As early as 1822, the postmaster in Washington, D.C. was worried by the amount of extra mail at Christmas time. His preferred solution to the problem was to limit by law the number of cards a person could send. Even though commercial cards were not available at that time, people were already sending so many home-made cards that sixteen extra postmen had to be hired in the city. Before settling on the name of Tiny Tim for his character in "A Christmas Carol," three other alliterative names were considered by Charles Dickens. They were Little Larry, Puny Pete, and Small Sam. California, Oregon, Michigan, Washington, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania and North Carolina are the top Christmas tree producing states. Oregon is the leading producer of Christmas trees - 8.6 million in 1998. Candy canes began as straight white sticks of sugar candy used to decorated the Christmas trees. A choirmaster at Cologne Cathedral decided have the ends bent to depict a shepherd's crook and he would pass them out to the children to keep them quiet during the services. It wasn't until about the 20th century that candy canes acquired their red stripes. Charles Dickens' initial choice for Scrooge's statement "Bah Humbug" was "Bah Christmas." Christmas presents were known in antiquity among kings and chieftains, especially on the European continent. However, they have been common among ordinary people in Iceland only during the past 100 or so years. Christmas trees are known to have been popular in Germany as far back as the sixteenth century. In England, they became popular after Queen Victoria's husband Albert, who came from Germany, made a tree part of the celebrations at Windsor Castle. In the United States, the earliest known mention of a Christmas tree is in the diary of a German who settled in Pennsylvania. Cultured Christmas trees must be shaped as they grow to produce fuller foliage. To slow the upward growth and to encourage branching, they are hand-clipped in each spring. Trees grown in the wild have sparser branches, and are known in the industry as "Charlie Brown" trees. During the ancient 12-day Christmas celebration, the log burned was called the "Yule log." Sometimes a piece of the Yule log would be kept to kindle the fire the following winter, to ensure that the good luck carried on from year to year. The Yule log custom was handed down from the Druids. During World War II it was necessary for Americans to mail Christmas gifts early for the troops in Europe to receive them in time. Merchants joined in the effort to remind the public to shop and mail early and the protracted shopping season was born. Electric Christmas tree lights were first used in 1895. The idea for using electric Christmas lights came from an American, Ralph E. Morris. The new lights proved safer than the traditional candles. Frankincense comes from certain Boswellia trees which, at the time of Christ, grew in Arabia, India, and Ethiopia. Tradition says that it was presented to the Christ Child by Balthasar, the black king from Ethiopia or Saba. The frankincense trade was at its height during the days of the Roman Empire. At that time this resin was considered as valuable as gems or precious metals. The Romans burned frankincense on their altars and at cremations. Franklin Pierce was the first United States' president to decorate an official White House Christmas tree . Frustrated at the lack of interest in his new toy invention, Charles Pajeau hired several midgets, dressed them in elf costumes, and had them play with "Tinker Toys" in a display window at a Chicago department store during the Christmas season in 1914. This publicity stunt made the construction toy an instant hit. A year later, over a million sets of Tinker Toys had been sold. George Washington spent Christmas night 1776 crossing the Delaware River in dreadful conditions. Christmas 1777 fared little better - at Valley Forge, Washington and his men had a miserable Christmas dinner of Fowl cooked in a broth of Turnips, cabbage and potatoes. Hallmark introduced its first Christmas cards in 1915, five years after the founding of the company. Historians have traced some of the current traditions surrounding Father Christmas, or Santa Claus, back to ancient Celtic roots. Father Christmas's elves are the modernization of the "Nature folk" of the Pagan religions; his reindeer are associated with the "Horned God," which was one of the Pagan deities. In 1647, the English parliament passed a law that made Christmas illegal. Festivities were banned by Puritan leader, Oliver Cromwell, who considered feasting and revelry, on what was supposed to be a holy day, to be immoral. The ban was lifted only when the Puritans lost power in 1660. In Britain, eating mince pies at Christmas dates back to the 16th century. It is still believed that to eat a mince pie on each of the Twelve Days of Christmas will bring 12 happy months in the year to follow. In France, Christmas is called Noel. This is derived from the French phrase "les bonnes nouvelles," which means literally "the good news" and refers to the gospel. In North America, children put stockings out at Christmas time. Their Dutch counterparts, however, use shoes. Dutch children set out shoes to receive gifts any time between mid-November and December 5, St. Nicholas' birthday. In Norway on Christmas Eve, visitors should know that after the family's big dinner and the opening of presents, all the brooms in the house are hidden. The Norwegians long ago believed that witches and mischievous spirits came out on Christmas Eve and would steal their brooms for riding. In the Netherlands, Christmas centers on the arrival of Saint Nicholas, who is believed to come on horseback bearing gifts. Before going to bed, children leave out their shoes, hoping to find them filled with sweets when they awaken. In the Thomas Nast cartoon that first depicted Santa Claus with a sleigh and reindeer, he was delivering Christmas gifts to soldiers fighting in the U.S. Civil War. The cartoon, entitled "Santa Claus in Camp," appeared in Harper's Weekly on January 3, 1863. Jesus Christ, son of Mary, was born in a cave, not in a wooden stable. Caves were used to keep animals in because of the intense heat. A large church is now built over the cave, and people can go down inside the cave. The carpenters of Jesus' day were really stone cutters. Wood was not used as widely as it is today. So whenever you see a Christmas nativity scene with a wooden stable -- that's the "American" version, not the Biblical one. Long before it was used as a "kiss encourager" during the Christmas season, mistletoe had long been considered to have magic powers by Celtic and Teutonic peoples. It was said to have the ability to heal wounds and increase fertility. Celts hung mistletoe in their homes in order to bring themselves good luck and ward off evil spirits. Mistletoe, a traditional Christmas symbol, was once revered by the early Britons. It was so sacred that it had to be cut with a golden sickle. More diamonds are purchased at Christmas-time (31 percent) than during any other holiday or occasion during the year. Myrrh is an aromatic gum resin which oozes from gashes cut in the bark of a small desert tree known as Commifera Myrrha or the dindin tree. The myrrh hardens into tear-dropped shaped chunks and is then powdered or made into ointments or perfumes. This tree is about 5-15 feet tall and 1 foot in diameter. Legend says Caspar brought the gift of myrrh from Europe or Tarsus and placed it before the Christ Child. Myrrh was an extremely valuable commodity during biblical times and ws imported from India and Arabia. Originally, Christmas decorations were home-made paper flowers, or apples, biscuits, and sweets. The earliest decorations to be bought came from Nuremburg in Germany, a city famous for the manufacture of toys. Lauscha in Germany is famous for its glass ornaments. In 1880, America discovered Lauscha and F.W. Woolworth went there and bought a few glass Christmas tree ornaments. Within a day he had sold out so next year he bought more and within a week they, too, had sold. The year after that be bought 200,000 Lauscha ornaments. During the First World War supplies of ornaments from Lauscha ceased, so American manufacturers began to make their own ornaments, developing new techniques that allowed them to turn out as many ornaments in a minute as could be made in a whole day at Lauscha. Right behind Christmas and Thanksgiving, Super Bowl Sunday ranks as the third-largest occasion for Americans to consume food, according to the National Football League. Santa's Reindeers are Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen. Silent Night was written in 1818, by an Austrian priest Joseph Mohr. He was told the day before Christmas that the church organ was broken and would not be prepared in time for Christmas Eve. He was saddened by this and could not think of Christmas without music, so he wanted to write a carol that could be sung by choir to guitar music. He sat down and wrote three stanzas. Later that night the people in the little Austrian Church sang "Stille Nacht" for the first time. St. Nicholas was bishop of the Turkish town of Myra in the early fourth century. It was the Dutch who first made him into a Christmas gift-giver, and Dutch settlers brought him to America where his name eventually became the familiar Santa Claus. The "Twelve Days of Christmas" was originally written to help Catholic children, in England, remember different articles of faith during the persecution by Protestant Monarchs. The "true love" represented God, and the gifts all different ideas: The "Partridge in a pear tree" was Christ. 2 Turtle Doves = The Old and New Testaments 3 French Hens = Faith, Hope and Charity-- the Theological Virtues 4 Calling Birds = the Four Gospels and/or the Four Evangelists 5 Golden Rings = The first Five Books of the Old Testament, the "Pentateuch", which relays the history of man's fall from grace. 6 Geese A-laying = the six days of Creation 7 Swans A-swimming = the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, the seven sacraments 8 Maids A-milking = the eight beatitudes 9 Ladies Dancing = the nine Fruits of the Holy Spirit 10 Lords A-leaping = the ten commandments 11 Pipers Piping = the eleven faithful apostles 12 Drummers Drumming = the twelve points of doctrine in the Apostle's Creed The abbreviation of Xmas for Christmas is not irreligious. The first letter of the word Christ in Greek is chi, which is identical to our X. Xmas was originally an ecclesiastical abbreviation that was used in tables and charts. The actual gift givers are different in various countries: England: Father Christmas France: Pere Noel (Father Christmas) Germany: Christkind (angelic messenger from Jesus) She is a beautiful fair haired girl with a shining crown of candles. Holland: St Nicholas. Italy: La Befana (a kindly old witch) Spain and South America: The Three Kings Russia: In some parts - Babouschka (a grandmotherly figure) in other parts it is Grandfather Frost. Scandinavia: a variety of Christmas gnomes. One is called Julenisse. The best selling Christmas trees are Scotch pine, Douglas fir, Noble fir, Fraser fir, Virginia pine, Balsam fir and white pine. The Christmas season begins at sundown on 24th December and lasts through sundown on 5th January. For that reason, this season is also known as the Twelve Days of Christmas. The day after Christmas, December 26, is known as Boxing Day. It is also the holy day called The Feast of St. Stephen. Some believe the feast was named for St. Stephen, a 9th century Swedish missionary, the patron saint of horses. Neither Boxing Day or St. Stephen have anything to do with Sweden or with horses. The first Christmas card was created in England on December 9, 1842. The first commercial Christmas card sold was designed by London artist John Calcott Horsley. He was hired by a wealthy British man to design a card that showed people feeding and clothing the poor with another picture of a Christmas party. The first Christmas card said, "Merry Christmas and a happy New Year to you." Of the original one thousand cards he printed for Henry Cole, only twelve exist today. The first printed reference to Christmas trees appeared in Germany in 1531. The four ghosts in Charles Dickens's "A Christmas Carol" were the ghosts of Christmas Past, Christmas Present, Christmas Yet to Come, and the ghost of Jacob Marley. The movie "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" (2000) features more than 52,000 Christmas lights, about 8,200 Christmas ornaments, and nearly 2,000 candy canes. The modern Christmas custom of displaying a wreath on the front door of one's house, is borrowed from ancient Rome's New Year's celebrations. Romans wished each other "good health" by exchanging branches of evergreens. They called these gifts strenae after Strenia, the goddess of health. It became the custom to bend these branches into a ring and display them on doorways. The poem commonly referred to as "The Night Before Christmas" was originally titled "A Visit From Saint Nicholas." This poem was written by Clement Moore for his children and some guests, one of whom anonymously sent the poem to a New York newspaper for publication. The poinsettia, traditionally an American Christmas flower, originally grew in Mexico; where it was known as the "Flower of the Holy Night". It was first brought to America by Joel Poinsett in 1829. The popular Christmas song "Jingle Bells" was composed in 1857 by James Pierpont, and was originally called "One-Horse Open Sleigh." The traditional flaming Christmas pudding dates back to 1670 in England, and was derived from an earlier form of stiffened plum porridge. The world's first singing commercial aired on the radio on Christmas Eve, 1926 for Wheaties cereal. The four male singers, eventually known as the Wheaties Quartet, sang the jingle. The Wheaties Quartet, comprised of an undertaker, a bailiff, a printer, and a businessman, performed the song for the next six years, at $6 per singer per week. The commercials were a resounding success. Theodore Roosevelt, a staunch conservationist, banned Christmas trees in his home, even when he lived in the White House. His children, however, smuggled them into their bedrooms. When Robert Louis Stevenson, author of Treasure Island, died on December 4, 1894, he willed his November 13 birthday to a friend who disliked her own Christmas birthday. Yuletide-named towns in the United States include Santa Claus, located in Arizona and Indiana, Noel in Missouri, and Christmas in both Arizona and Florida.